Title: Intractability

Author: tinhutlady

Series: House

Disclaimer: No infringement intended, nor profit expected

Description: House had a little fun, at Cuddy's expense.

Rating: older kids and up

 

 

"What are you doing?"

 

House looked up with what he hoped was his most innocent expression. "Lunch?"

 

Cuddy's blue eyes bored down into his. "You have exactly two minutes to get back up to that clinic."

 

"Is that allowing me enough time, considering my handicap?" he asked, head cocked for the reply.

 

It didn't phase her.

 

"While you are here, you are required to put in time on research," she retorted with iciness, "but I doubt sitting in the cafeteria with a newspaper counts."

 

"Oh contraire, fearful leader," House offered with a smirk.

 

He folder the paper with care and deliberation, knowing it would irritate her, then flattened it on the table, facing the story of interest in her direction.

 

He knew what she was reading – the same humorous words he had read:

 

Odeh M, Bassan H, Oliven A.

Department of Inernal Medicine, Bnai Zion Medical Center, Haifa, Israel.

A 60-year-old man with acute pancreatitis developed persistent hiccups after insertion of a nasogastric tube. Removal of the latter did not terminate the hiccups which had also been treated with different drugs, and several manoeuvres were attempted, but with no success. Digital rectal massage was then performed resulting in abrupt cessation of the hiccups. Recurrence of the hiccups occurred several hours later, and again, they were terminated immediately with digital rectal massage. No other recurrences were observed. This is the second reported case associating cessation of intractable hiccups with digital rectal massage. We suggest that this manoeuvre should be considered in cases of intractable hiccups before proceeding with pharmacological agents.

 

"Did you know your lips move when you read?" he asked, going in for the kill.

 

Her mouth scrunched, and that adorable little crease appeared on her forehead. He had pushed it to the limit, he knew. House rose, using the cane as a shield should she choose to kick him, and headed for the elevator.

 

She followed. Not good.

 

When the doors opened and the clinic faced him, he felt the pressure of her hand on the small of his back as she made sure he exited on the right level.

 

"You have two more hours," she said in a low growl. "Don't try hiding in one of the examination rooms again."

 

A waiting room full of sniffling, suffering patients watched as he walked toward the desk to pick up the next victim of his snark. A sound caught his attention, a high, squeaky, repetitive sound. Glancing over, his eyes beheld a bombshell of a blond, her shirt strained by her gifts, sitting in a chair and looking miserable as she hiccupped again and again.

 

He noticed Cuddy's sudden faltering step and a wicked smile began to twist his lips upward.

 

"I'll start with…" he began but she cut him off.

 

"Don't even think about it," Cuddy said with the shocked expression still evident on her face.

 

Later, when he heard how a desperate Cuddy had finally cured the woman's stubborn hiccups, he laughed long and loudly.