Title: Steel

Author: tinhutlady

Series: House (USA, cable, current)

Rating: children and up

Summary: It's lecture time for Dr. House.

 

"Which brings us to this. It's a scalpel. Pretty, isn't it?" He held it up higher for all to see. "Shiny stainless steel, surprisingly efficient for cutting open a patient, but not effective in most cases." He glared out at the small knot of students staring at him with open mouths. "Not effective, you say? No, I reply. While steel can be ground into a sharp edge capable of cutting into skin and the muscles beyond, it also damages them. Permanently.

 

"A surprisingly more effective tool, sharper than a scalpel's edge, and twice as bright at times, is the human brain. By applying this particular tool, a doctor is able to sort through the profusion of lies a patient spouts and narrow down the characteristics of the true symptoms of a case to determine a proper course of action, often without the use of this pretty, shiny toy," he offered, holding up the scalpel again before returning it to the worn wooden lectern in front of him.

 

He popped the cap on a bottle of pills he had retrieved from his coat pocket, and chugged a couple of them down his throat with a quick backward jerk of his head. As he shoved the pill bottle back into the depths of his coat, he zeroed in on the single hand that was raised.

 

There was a mumble and he nodded impatiently. "The question, for those not paying attention, was 'why would a patient lie when it's in their best interest to tell a doctor everything?' The answer, ladies and gentlemen, is that a patient does want relief, but cannot be trusted to tell you what you need to know. They conveniently forget some of the medication they are currently taking, having taken it for so long. They don't mention strange occurrences, changes in diet, cleaning solvents new from the store, laundry detergent changes, office worker illnesses, trips to other cities, insect bites, etc. that can all compound to change their normal status quo. Instead they confine their remarks to what they are currently feeling in their body at the moment, and they don't always mention everything even then.

 

"No, a patient is your worst enemy. They continue taking old medication when you've told them not to, discontinue taking medication before all of it is gone, and will seek a second opinion if your findings aren't what they want. It's still not a reason to go cutting them up if you can't figure out what's wrong with them. Exploratory surgery should be a doctor's last resort."

 

He could feel their eyes on him and he quirked an evil grin. "Of course, you don't have to believe me. After all, I could be lying, too. Just remember, boys and girls, I'm up here giving the lecture and you're not.

 

"I may be a sour, pain-wracked, soulless cripple, bent on single-handedly ridding the medical profession of the silly notion that coddling patients is good for them, but I'm also here to remind you that patients come into a doctor's office only because they believe something's wrong and a doctor can fix it. If a mechanic were to give them anything but straight talk on their ailing car, they would be up in arms. And if a mechanic took a cutting torch to their priceless vehicles before running several diagnostics, there would be hell to pay. You are held to a higher standard, since you are dealing with a patient's very life. If you make a mistake, well," he grimaced slightly, "hell wouldn't begin to cover it. And often the only thing you can truly count on is the knowledge you store in your brain and your ability to use that brain to glean more knowledge and observe reactions to the conclusions you make. You are capable of such intelligence, or you wouldn't be here listening to me ramble on.

 

"So think about that before you pick up one of these," he said, momentarily raising the shiny steel scalpel one last time. "In fact, just think. And on that note, I think I'll leave."