A breeze tickled Scotts face and he awoke. Thats not to say he opened his eyes. He was too careful for that. Gently he reached up, groaning as he did so, to check that the ruby-quartz glasses were in place. They were. He opened his eyes and found himself gazing directly at the clouds. He was flat on his back on the ground, a rock wall looming larger than life by his side, more than fifty feet tall. Had he fallen off of that? Come to think of it, he was lying on something fairly soft. Maybe thats why he felt pretty good for someone who had taken a header off a canyon ledge. The ground underneath him moved slightly and Scott stiffened, trying to remember everything that had happened. Logan had run after him. Logan had reached out his hand to him. Logans boots had slipped in the shifting gravel
"Hey, buddy, ya mind moving? This rocks digging into my back something fierce."
Logan was underneath him. Thats right. They had looked at each other, knowing they werent going to make it and Logan had wrapped himself around Scott in a last ditch effort to protect the team leader. Scott rolled over and off of Logan, who promptly sat up.
"Youre a Godsend, my friend," said Scott. "How did you know I was going to fall?"
It had happened so fast. Scott had been admiring the view, waiting for Jean and Rogue to come back from a nature break, when he walked too close to the edge of a canyon he discovered beyond the copse where they had parked. As he had turned to go back to the SUV his foot had slipped and ground began to crumble beneath him. Had he cried out? Is that why Logan came running full tilt through the trees to save him?
"Im no Godsend, thats for sure. Lets have a look at ya. Ya might have broken something."
Scott noticed that the slight Canadian accent Logan normally had was a bit more pronounced. Thats odd, he thought as he sat still while Logan checked him over. There was blood on the ground, but he was sure it was all Logans and he marveled yet again at the older mans ability to heal so rapidly. Logan expertly ran his hands over Scotts left leg, obviously expecting something and showing a puzzled face when he didnt find it. Scott cocked his head.
"Everything okay? My leg feels fine."
Logan looked Scott straight in the eye as if really seeing him for the first time. "Whats with the glasses? Take em off and Ill check yer eyes. Yer noggin might have taken a wallop."
Take off my glasses? An alarm bell went off in Scotts head. "Um, my eyes are sensitive to light. Are you okay?" Why was Logan asking him to take off the lenses, knowing his eyes were so deadly?
Logan shrugged and stood. He glanced up at the rock wall and shook his head as he reached down to pull Scott up.
"Ya shouldnt have been that close to the edge. Ya never know when yer boot might slip. Theres an easy climb to the top around here to the side. Ya want me to carry ya?"
Scott closed his mouth and smiled while his fast thinking brain went into overdrive. Mentally he sent out a shout to Jean as he tried to fathom why Logan was not being himself. Was he pulling a fast one? He was more than capable of his share of pranks, as Scott knew from personal experience, but this was different. If the hair and sideburns werent there, Scott would have sworn this was a different person. This frank, open look was nothing like the usual guarded countenance of Logans face. He watched his friend kick sand over the blood on the ground and decided to play along until Jean could have a look at Logan.
"Um, nothings broken. Ill climb up on my own if youll show me the way."
"Suit yerself." Again there was a flash of uncertainty, as if Logan had expected a different answer.
"Do you want me to check your head?" Scott kept his voice light while his gaze sharpened on any reaction Logan might have.
"No." It had been a little too quick and a little too loud. "No, Im fine. Im sure its just a scrape. Were both lucky."
They made it to the base of a small ravine that led up and out of the canyon and Logan remarked that they were headed in the right direction. He turned and eyed Scott again.
"Are ya sure yer legs okay for this? Its a bit of a climb from here on."
"Its okay, thanks, um "
Logan turned and headed up the slope. "James. My names James."
If Scott had been standing next to a tree it would have been okay. As it was the surprise of Logans statement made him misstep his footing and, without anything to grab hold of for balance, he hit the ground hard on the seat of his pants.
Logan turned with triumph in his eyes. "I knew yer leg wouldnt hold. Lets have a go. Climb up." He squatted down in front of Scott and offered his broad back.
Too stunned to make any coherent reply, Scott again sent out a mental shout for Jean as Logan pulled him up on his back and started to make his way up the canyon wall.
---
(He knows his first name, Jean. Hes also trying to hide the fact that he heals. Its as if Im a complete stranger to him. What triggered this?)
(It could have been the fall, although hes taken more punishment than that and it never rattled his brain. Hes hard for me to read so I cant give you any more than that until I see him for myself. Humor him and well meet you in the woods at the top.) There was a pause. (Thank God he was there.)
(He was there, all right. I didnt know what kind of danger I was in and I never saw him coming. Im sorry I took such a chance and went that close to the edge. I wont do that again.) He sent all the love and mental hugs he could her way, knowing she needed them. (Well see you at the top.)
Scott turned his attention back to the trail. This did remind him of the time Logan had carried him to safety after they had been through an ordeal at a Maine coastal town.
"Déjà vu," he said out loud.
"Yeah, me, too. Funny that way, isnt it? For a minute there, its like I knew what was supposed to happen and then it didnt and then it did. The mind can play tricks sometimes, especially after a fall like that." Logan grunted as he continued the trek. "Whats yer name?"
Whats my name? "Scott. Scott Summers." Logan said he was having a flashback, too, but of what?
"Now, see? Thats just what I meant. I expected ya to say something else." Logan shook his head. "Everythings a little out of place." He climbed up some boulders and commented, "Things feel heavier, too."
From his vantagepoint, Scott took a close look at Logans head. He could see where blood had dried and stiffened the back of the unruly mop of black hair. What was it like to know that you could heal from almost anything? Would it be a release from worry or would it become a hellish existence? Knowing his temperament, Scott would never ask Wolverine that question, but he did want to know a few things about this other Logan.
"Why did you go down with me? I mean, I might have survived a fall like that on my own. I have pretty good reflexes, you know."
"Seemed like the thing to do at the time." Logan shrugged. "Ya might have good reflexes, but I hate to see waste."
"Waste?"
"Ive seen a lot of death." Scott wished fervently he could see Logans face at that moment but all he had to go on was Logans voice and it had become flat and hard. "Its not something ya ever get used to, but ya can accept it as long as theres a reason for it. There was no reason for ya to get that close to the edge. Reflexes or not, ya could have died and it would have been a waste."
"So you jumped, too."
"Its hard to explain."
"Why risk your life for someone you dont know?" If Logan had jumped off that canyon wall before, he had done it to save a stranger. Ever curious, Scott wanted to know why.
Logan was silent for a while, then he shrugged. "I knew a few men whod have given anything to have another chance at life. Lets just say I couldnt be there for them, but I knew I could for you. Fair enough?"
"Fair enough."
"All I ask is that ya dont waste it."
Scott couldnt help but wonder what had happened. What kind of man had Logan saved? What had he done with his second chance at life? Scott had no doubts that it had happened in the past, he just didnt have enough clues to go on to put all the pieces of this mystery together yet.
The path was leveling out more and more, which meant they must be nearer to the top. He was sure Jean had brought Rogue up to speed, but the young woman would be under quite a strain to act as if she didnt know her own boyfriend. Was there any way he could ease Logan back into the present?
"Do you know this area well? Is there a good place to camp around here?" Scott kept his voice perfectly normal. Logan was still capable of sensing anything out of the ordinary.
Logan stopped and took his bearings. "Theres an old dirt logging road up ahead aways. To the right yonder is a small lake and the runoff from it during hard rains fills that canyon we were in. I suppose the lake would be yer best bet. Why?"
Scott had seen a map of this area. Logan was correct except for one thing. The logging trail had been made into a two-lane asphalt road that meandered through this large natural reserve. Whatever Logan was experiencing had to be from quite a while ago for the road had been paved for at least forty years.
"My fiancée and her friend are up top and we had planned to camp around here. If you know the area, we sure could use your help setting up a place to spend the night. Care to join us?" It was the truth. They had all come up here to do a little camping.
Logan frowned. Again it seemed that something was out of place for him. "Yer fiancées with ya? I thought ." He studied the last part of the slope he had to climb. "Ill get ya up there, then well see."
When they reached the woods, two worried faces greeted them. Apprised of the situation, Marie tried hard to act accordingly but her heartbeats hammered hard against her chest when she caught sight of the dried blood in Logans hair. What had happened? She smiled charmingly at him, as one might to a stranger. The reply was immediate and stunning. Logans eyes crinkled and his face lit up in a smile that was almost an assault on her heart. She had seen him do this only once and only when they had been alone. As it had that time, the pure happiness in his face took her breath away.
"You two must be looking for this fellow. He took a tumble but seems okay." Logan gently eased Scott to the ground. "Whos the fiancée?"
"I am," said Jean. She disentangled herself from the frantic hug with her lover and held out her trembling hand. "My names Jean. Thanks for being there for Scott." She meant it, too. Scott was everything to her and the thought of him falling like that had given her quite a jolt.
Logan read the affection between the two easily and smiled again. Jean was caught off balance. For once, her hormones did not respond and she was pleasantly surprised. This Logan didnt know her at all. She had no undercurrent of attraction to him, perhaps because this man was not dark and deadly as Scott always referred to him. It gave her a new insight on her reactions. Was she using Logan as an answer to a childish female fantasy? Now that she knew it, she could begin to curb it. Jean smiled warmly as they shook hands.
"Well, if yer the fiancée, then this must be yer friend." His warm brown eyes latched on to Maries and didnt let go.
Marie awkwardly produced her hand and the gloves she wore suddenly loomed larger than life to her. This Logan didnt know about her problem. How would he handle not being able to touch her?
He didnt even bat an eye as he pressed his palm firmly against hers through the silk. "Yer a lady, even in the middle of the wilderness. I like that."
She didnt miss the twinkle of humor and blushed. "Its a long story, Mr um."
"Ya can call me James."
"James. Ah like that." She felt herself tear up and laughed. He knew his name.
"Yer not from around here, not with a voice like that."
"Ahm from Mississippi."
His other hand reached up and she found herself caught between warning him not to touch her and wanting him to lay his warm hand on her cheek. He cautiously stroked the streak in her hair. His face became puzzled, as if trying to remember something.
He dropped her hand and frowned. "Maybe Id better leave. This isnt right."
A chorus of nos answered him and his face showed his puzzlement.
"You did say youd show us a place to camp." Scott countered. "Well go find a spot and the girls can bring the car around."
"So I did," Logan said absently as he watched Rogue follow Jean through the woods. He snorted and grinned at Scott. "I swear I must be dreaming, but Ill be damned if I want to wake up just yet. I suppose Ill stay for a few more minutes."
---
A few more minutes turned into a few more hours. Although they couldnt get Logan to open up about himself, the three managed to engage him in some very telling conversation, learning a little more about the complex man that sat across the camp from them. He was witty, they knew already, and the dry humor they had come to expect of him was evident here. It was the open way he expressed his feelings that was so different to them. He could smile and laugh and took the opportunity to do so when the mood struck him, which was frequent.
Night was almost upon them and there was the question of dinner. While Marie set up a very efficient fire for cooking, Logan concocted a delicious stew from the cattails and other wild vegetables he found around the area. He had quirked an eyebrow at the camping equipment and they suspected it was unfamiliar to him, but he didnt say anything and did not press for information. The only thing he did was compliment Marie on her practical camping sense and suggest she teach Scott and Jean a few things. They all hid grins at that.
After the meal was consumed and the mess cleaned up, Marie, strained from trying so hard to keep up appearances of normalcy, excused herself on the pretense of taking a stroll. She quietly moved through the trees and found herself at the lake. She slowly stepped up on a large flat rock on the shore and sat, curling into herself, as she watched the moonlight ripple across the surface of the water.
Marie wished Logan were here, her Logan. It was wrong, she knew. The man they spoke with this evening was a free spirit, someone who had never been betrayed by those he trusted and forced to become something he wasnt. But she needed her Wolverine. She was lonely; her soul mate was gone. What if Logan stayed this way for good? Tears spilled down her cheeks. He was the only one who didnt run from her, didnt flinch when she wore normal clothing, even went out of his way to do something as simple as kiss her, knowing it could be lethal. He did it because he loved her. This new Logan didnt. She wasnt special to him. He never even asked her name.
"Dont, please."
Her breath caught even as her head came up swiftly and body reflexes, trained to defend her, tensed her muscles for fight or flight.
Logan stepped out of the shadows, palms up. "I didnt mean to scare ya, I just didnt want ya to do something yad regret."
She swallowed hard and glanced out at the water again. "Ahm not going to jump, if thats what you mean. This small lake isnt deep enough."
"Its deeper than ya think. Its still and its quiet and its been here for a long, long time.
Yer not the first one to come here with problems."
"And what would you know about problems, Mr " Her voice caught and she tried hard to hold back her anger at the unfairness of the situation. He was with her, close to her, but was a million miles away.
"Ya dont want to call me James, do ya? Now thats a puzzle. Ive watched ya all evening and I think yer hurting, pining for a man whos not coming back to ya and now ya act as if its my fault. I dont know what to make of all this. Is it a dream or is it a nightmare?"
She blushed in the darkness, forgetting that his eyes could see everything. "Youre right and Ahm ashamed. Ah do miss someone. Hes very special to me and " She paused as she fought back the tears. "Ah want him with me."
In an instant he was sitting by her side and she clung to him.
"Shhh." He stoked her hair. "I cant tell ya what to do or how to think, but I can tell ya that it gets easier with time. He didnt come back to ya, from the war I mean?" She sniffled and he went on. "Most of the guys I fought with in Europe never knew what hit em. Ya can take comfort in that."
Marie wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "You were in the war in Europe?" She had suspected hed been in World War II for a long time, ever since he had reacted so badly to the Normandy scene in "Saving Private Ryan," but had never told him about her thoughts.
"Im still in the war, its just that Im on a short furlough. They want me to go to the Pacific next week." He reached up to catch a tear she missed and she gently brushed his hand away before he could touch her skin.
"Ahm okay. Tell me about the war. Please?"
He smiled that breathtaking smile again and she realized he was not going to.
"Im sitting in the moonlight talking to a pretty lady and ya want me to talk about that? No sirree, yer not thinking straight. Ya dont want to know. Yer hurting for him so just let it happen and dont hunt for details ya really dont need. The best way to remember someone is to think of the best time ya had with them and go from there." They looked deep into each others eyes. "Yer a beautiful woman, ya know that?" He paused, as if making a decision. "Whats yer name?"
"Marie."
Logan cocked his head. "Why do they call you Rogue?"
"Because Ah am one."
A soft chuckle vibrated the air near her. "Well, Miss Marie Rogue, Im more of a rogue than ya could ever hope to be. The military calls me Logan because thats the name I gave em, so I suppose you can call me Mr. Logan. Unless, of course, ya want to call me something else?"
She sighed, longing for a kiss that wouldnt come. "No."
"Ya miss him and ya dont want anyone else but him beside ya. Yer going to think Im crazy, but Im starting to feel jealous of a ghost. I know thats a bit forward on my part, because Im not supposed to fall in love with ya. Yer under a strain and thats not fair. There will be someone, Marie, wholl be there for ya, when alls said and done. I just cant be the one. Not now."
She nodded somberly and his face became unreadable as they sat there together under the stars, looking out over the water, thinking.
---
"So, what do you think?"
"To be honest, lover, I dont know. I wish the professor were here."
Scott and Jean were reclined against an old stump, watching the fire. She hadnt wanted to move from his side, not since Logan had brought him back to her, and used his shoulder as a pillow to rest her head as he circled her with a strong embrace.
"You mean you still cant read him?"
"Everything in his mind was either erased by damage, implanted by psychotic scientists, or so securely walled up, even from himself, that its like going through a Danger Room session. You never know whats going to pop up and hit you."
"Walled up?"
"Well, I mean that any memories in there that havent been destroyed are now isolated, unable to be reached."
Scott thoughtfully stroked Jeans hair. "What if hes accessing one of them? What if hes been here before and, when his body healed his brain after our fall, it plugged into the wrong circuit? Like a memory from the past, before the scientists got a hold of him. Could he be stuck in a bubble of time? A real case of déjà vu?"
She frowned. "Its a possibility..."
"But you dont like it."
"Im not saying that, Scott. You just brought it to my attention that he wouldnt know the future."
"So?"
"So what if something makes him tense those forearm muscles and metal knives suddenly spring from his hands? If hes really stuck in the past, theres no telling how that might affect him." She sat up suddenly. "Its Rogue! Somethings wrong!"
Scott grabbed the flashlight beside them and they sprang up and sprinted down the path.
---
Rogue motioned them to be quiet when they burst through the undergrowth.
"He must have heard something in the bushes and went off to investigate." She said in a low voice. "Ah heard him cry out but he wont answer me. Thats when Ah called you."
Scott brought the flashlight up and shone it in one of the darkest thicket areas. There, not thirty feet away, stood Logan. Metal reflected light back to them. The claws were out and Logan was trying to fathom where they came from. He turned slowly, reacting to the light, and started to walk toward them.
"I dont understand." He began to shake. "Whats happening to me? Where did these come from?" He held them out imploringly as if someone could simply take them off and everything would be fine.
"Its okay, sugar. This is just a dream to you, remember?" Marie walked toward him, hands out to steady him if he needed it.
One of the blades accidentally nicked one of her palms and instantly drew blood. She flinched.
Oh my God, Ive hurt ya!" He swung his fists back away from her and lopped off a small tree branch in the motion. Logan watched the limb hit the ground and suddenly realized just how deadly the metal was. "Christ!"
"Logan " Scott began.
"No! Keep back!" He looked at the blades again and an agonized howl rent the air. "How could this happen? Why is there metal in me?" He circled around them, trying to get away. "Im a monster! Sweet mother of God, Im a fucking monster!"
Scott and Jean moved apart, trying to block his escape. Scott raised the beam of light to blind Logans sensitive eyes.
"Logan, please. Its not what you think." Jean tried hard to introduce soothing mental images into Logans mind, but it wasnt working.
"James, stop." Maries voice was firm, commanding.
Logan froze and looked at her, despite the halogen interference.
"You need to listen to me. Ah know you dont understand whats going on, but it will be okay. Trust me." He was stopped. She had him. The situation was calming down. Then Marie made the mistake of holding out her hands.
He smelled the blood and bolted, straight for the lake. "I need to stop this nightmare," they heard him say as he leapt up on the rock, claws disappearing as he prepared for the dive. "I need to wake up!"
The splash woke them out of their shock.
"No!" Rogue screamed. She turned to Scott even as she made a mad dash to follow him. "The lake is deep! Hell drown!"
The three of them hit the water as one.
---
"Is he breathing?" Maries lip was trembling.
"No." Jean was about to start mouth-to-mouth when Scott grabbed her and pulled her up and back.
"You know how fast he can wake up. If anyones going to get next to those claws, itll be me." He knelt down and looked up at Rogue. "Dont worry, hell be fine."
Scott tilted Logans head back slightly and was about to start resuscitation when a hand shot up and clamped down on his windpipe.
"What the fuck do you think youre doing?"
"Trying to bring you back to life," wheezed Scott. "Mind letting go?"
"If anyones going to give me mouth-to-mouth, Id rather it be Rogue, got it?" The growl told them all that Logan, the real Logan, was back.
Scott grinned as the grip on his throat was released. "Got it." He stood and pulled Jean in close to him.
Logan sat up and took in the situation. "All right, would somebody mind explaining why were all wet?"
Marie dropped to her knees beside him and gave him the biggest hug she could. "Ah love you," she exhaled through shaky breaths.
He felt her tremble against him. "Its okay. Im here. I love you, too," he whispered as the scent of fear and relief hit him and he squeezed her harder in an effort to protect her and reassure her.
He looked up at Scott and Jean with a puzzled expression and asked in a louder tone of voice, "Or do I really want to know what I did this time?"
---
"Hes being hardheaded about this."
"Scott."
"I mean it. Hes not even accepting my theory."
"Youre not accepting his, either, you know." Jeans face twisted into a wry grin as they mounted the steps and entered the Rangers Cabin they found a few miles down the road.
"Oh that pile of," Scott looked around and spotted two older men in the room, " nonsense about sleepwalking?"
"With his brain, you never can tell. One theory is just as possible as the other."
They intertwined arms and looked through the brochures on the wall that explained more about the interesting features of this particular natural reserve.
"Can I help you folks?" The older man in a park ranger uniform moseyed over.
"No, thank you," said Jean.
"Yes," said Scott. "Is there any history on that canyon or lake down the road?"
The other man in the room began to chuckle mischievously as Rogue entered the cabin.
"Something spook you, young man?" he eyed Rogue and frowned. That streak was distinctive. His eyes flitted back to Scotts optics and he began to grin. "You three wouldnt be from a school, now, would you?"
"I know you," Scott hesitated. "Weve met. Yes, I teach at a school. My names Summers."
"Ah, yes, Mr. Summers. That would make you Dr. Grey. My grandniece goes to your school." He turned to Rogue. "You teach her literature lab." He held out a hand. "We met when Megan started school there. Her mother, bless her, is my sisters child. Im Gus Reynolds."
"Of course!" Scott said as they all shook hands. "Nice to see you again. I should have known from that chuckle you were related to her."
The older man cackled again. "She takes after me, all right. My parents put up with a lot, Ill tell you." He cocked his head. "Speaking of which, you said you wanted to know the history of that canyon and lake? My parents told me a story one time about them "
The ranger rolled his eyes. "If anyone can tell you why theyre named Angel Canyon and Spirit Lake, Gus can." He waved them on. "Take it outside and sit on the porch. Youll be here for a while."
---
"Hes just jealous cause I know more about it than he does. I wont talk your ear off, but I think youll like my tale. Its a love story."
"Thats the best kind," smiled Rogue.
They were sitting in the rocking chairs on the porch of the cabin, taking in the beautiful morning view of the woods. The sun was not quite up and fingers of mist tangled their way through the trees.
"My father was shipped home from the war in Europe when a grenade went off too close to him and shattered one of his eardrums. When he went to visit his fiancée, she took one look at his scarred up face and ran crying to her bedroom. Well, you can imagine what that did to my father. He took a trip to get away and ended up here. This was just government land used for logging at that time. This road was nothing but dirt. He wandered around, lost, and came upon that canyon. He ended up going over the edge. In his state of mind, I can believe he jumped. He says he fell." Gus shrugged his shoulders. "It doesnt matter which for he never really hit the canyon floor. An angel came out of nowhere and grabbed him in the air, took the brunt of the fall when they hit the bottom.
"When my father came to, he found the angel had set his broken leg. It carried him up and back to his car where some loggers found him a few minutes later. My father never did say exactly what the angel said to him, but I know he taught my sister and me to live life to the fullest and never judge anyone by how they look on the outside."
Gus grinned and said, "Now for my mothers story. Would you believe that night, that very same night, my mother came here to the lake to kill herself? She never said that, mind you, but she had just been given a letter that said that her boyfriend wouldnt be coming back from the war alive and she was hurting just like my father had. She was sitting on the rock at the shore of the lake when a stranger came out of nowhere and talked to her. Told her things would get better and she would meet the true love of her life someday.
"About a year later, things were better for the two of them, but they were still alone. They came back here to try to sort things out and maybe see their angel again, when they met at this very cabin. The government had decided to make this into a natural reserve and was turning it into a park. They walked to the canyon and walked to the lake and told each other their stories and fell in love." He sighed. "They were married soon after and became active in keeping this park just as beautiful as it always has been. They were also responsible for naming the canyon and the lake." He nodded as if trying to convince his spellbound audience of the truth he spoke, not realizing they knew almost as much about it as he did.
Gus looked over at Scott, "So you see why something could have spooked you now, young man. Theres an angel around here somewhere. I wouldnt be here if it werent so." He chuckled. "Id give anything to know what happened to get your dander up. Did you see him?"
Scott paused. "We did meet a stranger." Jean elbowed him. "I met him at the canyon and he disappeared last night at the lake."
(Dont give him a heart attack, Scott. He really believes this stuff.)
(He should. It was Logan, Im sure of it.)
Gus stared. "Really?"
"Really," said Marie. The whole conversation with Logan at the lake now made much more sense. "Ah saw him, too." She and Scott exchanged glances.
The sun chose that moment to come out through the morning clouds and start burning off the patches of fog. Logan appeared out of the mists and approached the cabin noiselessly. They all watched him walk up the steps and join them on the porch.
"You three ready to go?" he growled, still not happy with the strange events of yesterday that he didnt remember.
Marie grinned as she appreciated the irony of the situation. "Mr. Reynolds, this is Logan, one of the other teachers at the school and my boyfriend." They shook hands as she continued. "Logan, this is Megans great uncle."
There it was, just a flash of it, but it was back for an instant. That heart-pounding smile showed briefly on Logans face as he looked the old man over.
"Im sure you and I can swap stories," chuckled Logan.
Scott laughed and quirked a grin at Rogue. "Im sure you could, in more ways than one."
End
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